Dating in your 40’s

Listen. I didn’t think dating in my 40s would be like this. I thought by now, things would be smoother. Less confusion, more intention. But here I am, deep in the streets of Atlanta, trying to figure out what in the world is going on?

First of all, let’s talk about options—because Chile, they are both endless and nonexistent at the same time. One minute, you think you’ve met a grown, emotionally available man with good conversation and real intentions, and the next? He’s ghosting you because he’s just not ready for anything serious (but somehow still finds time to text “WYD?” at 11:47 p.m.).

Then there’s the whole dating-app struggle. Swipe left, swipe right—only to realize these men are either “just looking for friends,” posting outdated pictures from 2015, or listing a height that is definitely a generous estimate. And don’t get me started on the “Alpha Male” podcasters who want to debate submission before they even take you on a real date.

But let’s be real—dating in Atlanta is its own unique challenge. A city full of beautiful, successful, intelligent Black women… and not enough emotionally mature, ready-for-commitment men to match. It’s competitive out here, but not in the way you’d expect. Too many men are treating relationships like a revolving door—always looking for the next best thing, while too many of us are left wondering: “Where are the men who actually want to build something real?”

And let’s not forget about the ones who do check all the boxes—the career, the confidence, the charisma—only to hit you with “Let’s just vibe” instead of “Let’s build together.” Sir. I am not 25. I don’t have time to vibe indefinitely.

So, what’s really going on? Is it social media? The illusion of endless choices? The fear of vulnerability? Or are we all just out here protecting ourselves so much that we don’t know how to truly connect anymore?

All I know is, I’m still holding out hope. Still showing up as my best self. Still believing that somewhere in this city, there’s a man who is ready for real love, real effort, and real partnership. But until then? I’ll keep my standards high, my boundaries firm, and my peace intact.

Because one thing I refuse to do is settle. 💛